Kitty Softpaws

If you've seen the new Puss in Boots movie, you know exactly who Kitty Softpaws is as well as how she got her name.  Well...the Bethea household how has our own Kitty Softpaws.  We had to take Mika in today to get her claws removed.  I understand that this is a controversial issue, but once she started lacerating our furniture, our arms, and our other cat, we decided it had to be done.  And it wasn't an easy decision - trust me!
When a cat gets declawed, it's entire first knuckle is removed.  Take a look at your hands.  Can you imagine what it would be like to have the first knuckle of each of your fingers removed???  Honestly, every time I think about it I wince.  It makes me sad inside and I start to feel more empathy for our helpless little cat than any human should for any animal.  I'm not saying a person shouldn't feel sad or be compassionate toward animals; I'm just saying that this really isn't as big of a deal as I make it in my head.
Think about it this way: serious ballerinas often have their toe nails removed from their big toes in order to adapt to standing on the tips of their feet.  Much along those lines, when a cat lives permanently indoors, they often also need to adjust to their circumstances, which often means removing their claws.  People may argue that it's inhumane or that the owner's taking away any ability for the cat to protect itself, but if a cat lives indoors only it no longer has the need to protect itself.  The pain is temporary - just like any surgery - and the outcome is greatly advantageous to the other options for both the cat and the owner.  If we didn't get Mika declawed, we'd have to take her back to the shelter.  I love her way too much to send her away!
I've actually spent most of my night making sure she's okay.  Pathetic, I know.  She just looks so groggy and out of it from the pain medication and her paws look somehow deflated.  It's weird, actually.  I don't know if I'm imagining it, but the tips of her toes look thinner than they used to.  She's so social, so she's enjoyed me coming in and checking up on her every once in a while.  She even scooted around on her little chair so she could put her head on my arm (I was sitting on the floor, resting my head on my arm on top of the chair).  It was pretty cute.
Anyway, I highly doubt anyone even cares about this post - this is more just me thinking and processing through my fingers - and I have to admit that it rambles a bit, but I just had to get it out.  I had to write about it.  It doesn't hurt that I'm trying to be better about posting more frequent blogs, either :)

Taking a Hint from Benjamin Franklin

Temperance, silence, order, resolution, frugality, industry, sincerity, justice, moderation, cleanliness, tranquility, chastity, and humility.  What do these incredibly difficult characteristics have in common?  Benjamin Franklin includes these thirteen virtues in his autobiography, explaining his overly formulaic attempt to improve his character and lifestyle.  So...what's the point?  Well, you see, Franklin also explained how after coming up with the thirteen virtues, he tracked his progress on the virtues in a log organized for each day of the week (see the example below).  He built on his virtues in succession - once he mastered the first one, he'd add the second.  Once he mastered the second, he'd add on the third.  He did this with each one until he'd mastered them all (or at least he'd come close).  At the end of this section of his autobiography, he leaves his readers with the following words: "I hope, therefore, that some of my descendants may follow the example and reap the benefit."  Ladies and Gentlemen, I am one of those descendants who has chosen to take on the task of reaping the benefits!

I have talked a lot in the past about resolutions, changes, additions, and any other number of improvements I'd like to make to my life.  However, I often feel so overwhelmed by this list of self-improvements that nothing gets done!  I first read about Benjamin Franklin's quest for virtue last year when teaching Rationalist literature to my American Literature class.  I found it intriguing then, but, being in the crazy phase of life that I was, I didn't have the time to think any further than that.  When I taught the unit this year, I thought more about Franklin's quest as well as his "hope" to pass on his lesson to his descendants.  I have to admit that I'm still hesitant.  I've never been any good at sticking to life changes that don't come naturally (and those that come naturally typically aren't positive).  Still, I'm going to do this, and I'm starting at the new year.

January first is a week from tomorrow.  If I'm starting my list of virtues then, that means I have to come up with a list, plan what order I'd like to conquer them in, create my own virtue log, and begin.  My challenge to you is to consider doing the same.  What do you want to improve in your life?  Is it your health?  Your sleeping habits?  Your prayer life?  Something altogether different?  Consider it.  And once you have, pursue the change.

Reflection

Look in the mirror.  Go ahead...get up from your couch, or desk chair, or where ever you're sitting and go take a peak.  Look for at least ten seconds.  Once you're back, think about what you saw: what were your thoughts?  How did you feel?  If you're anything like me, and most likely if you're female, it takes much fewer than ten seconds to criticize what you see.  Less than five seconds, even, to make yourself feel pretty low.  So what is it about thousands of beautiful women that makes us believe the lie that we are fat, or ugly, or flawed?  What is it that convinces us that our value comes from what we see in that thin piece of reflective glass, which is always a skewed perception anyway?
I didn't realize that people thought I was pretty until college.  I never had guys comment on my looks, but I guess when you're in high school the only guys commenting on people's looks are the ones who have too little self control to not say something inappropriate, so that was fine with me.  My friends often commented on how they wished they had my body, or some aspect of my physical appearance, but I just thought they were crazy and trying to be nice.  Then I got to college and all of a sudden I had guy after guy pursuing me.  I felt like I didn't have to think or try to attract guys - they just came.
Now, I want to switch gears and interject something for a minute.  I'm not sharing these facts about college to brag or to put anyone down.  Quite the opposite, in fact.  I'm sharing these facts because I believe it had a strong negative impact on how I view myself now, and I'm trying to work out the details in order to help myself, and maybe others in the same boat, learn to find value where it really counts.  And I don't just mean to know where value comes from, but to believe it!  Okay, back to the story.
The stream of pursuers and comments continued basically until I met Ben.  I began to rely on them and to expect them.  I liked them.  I enjoyed feeling wanted, and I knew that a big part of that was my appearance.  Even with Ben, hearing the story about the night we met always makes me smile because of how I caught his eye (with my looks) and how I kept it (with everything else).  However...now that we're married and this life I live has become 'normal,' Ben doesn't verbalize that he's attracted to me hardly ever, and neither do any other guys (obviously).  I find myself freaking out about needing to stay in shape, eating well, and looking pretty not so I can actually be in shape or be healthy, but so Ben will always be attracted to me - so my body will never change - and the flaws I see (even though he probably doesn't) are the reason he's not as verbal or pursuant.
Ladies (and any men still reading)...THIS is destructive thinking!  Do not base your value on anything superficial.  You are a beautiful creation and the only thing that's worth any value is that you were created by a very powerful creator, who loves you more deeply than you could ever ask or imagine!  I know not all of you believe in God, but whether you do or not, there is no doubt that your value should be based on something more than a thin layer of flesh.  So how do we fight these fetters filled with lies, deceit, and destruction?
Well, for one thing, we could start by countering the criticism we tell ourselves.  In the Bible study I led for the past five years, we would always tell our girls that they had to say two positive things for every negative thing they said about themselves.  We started it because they really were negative in their younger years, and it was starting to wear on everyone.  Once we begin changing what we vocalized to positive attributes rather than negative, the whole atmosphere of the group transformed.  It worked!  Finding something positive helped us all to think more positively in general.  Start with that!  Be intentionally more positive!
Next, get away from magazines that put you down.  Guys should not read muscle magazines, and girls should not read fashion magazines.  Not only are they unrealistic, they are literally not real.  They are someone's digital artwork.  And all they do is tell the people reading them that they are too big, or their eyes are too narrow, or their lips are too small.  Don't believe it!  Don't even tempt yourself!
My last suggestion is to surround yourself with uplifting people.  I have to say that the best I've felt about myself in the past few years is the weekend trip my girlfriends and I took down to Texas this past January (even though this was also the month I was the heaviest I've been in the past few years).  If you put ten girls who truly love and value each other in the same space, they will undoubtedly lift each other up!  It is a magical thing!  Ladies - you are a great asset!  Love your friends deeply and display that love at all costs!  Share with each other how and why you love each other!  Support each other in your joys and your sorrows!  This. is. so. important.  We can't live without it. We cannot live on the praise of our husbands alone.
Still, even the praise of our friends isn't enough.  And that's where I'm stuck.  That's where I keep falling into the trap of believing what I see in the mirror guides who I am, and that when I'm not satisfied, I'm not satisfying to anyone else either.  I know logically that my value comes from God, but sometimes I have a hard time knowing what that even means.  Sometimes I have a hard time not only knowing, but then believing throughout my entire being in its truth.  What more can we do?  How do we turn to Him for good?  How do we steal back the value that's been imaginarily, yet so realistically, stolen from us?  This, my friends, is a dilemma no one can address alone!

New Year's Resolutions?

Okay, okay, okay...it's been over a year since I've written anything.  I know!  But you have no idea how crazy this past year has been.  About this time last year is when I started preparing for teaching my first full time job.  I had no idea at the time how fully consuming it would be to all parts of my life.  For those of you who actually want to see me now and then, don't worry.  Things get better.  Teaching becomes less exhausting, planning takes up less time, and grading...well, I may just be out of luck on that one forever.  I'll figure out something to do about that!
My point in all of this is that I dropped the ball on things that meant a lot to me last year, and in place of them came teaching.  I actually counted, and with the amount of hours I worked each week within the ten-month period, I actually worked the same amount as a person works at over 40 hours within the whole year.  I only saw friends about once every two months.  I rarely exercised.  I never read my Bible except to prepare for c-group.  And really, I gave up so much more.  Ugh...it was awful.  With only weeks before I have to step back into the classroom again, I've really been thinking a lot about how to avoid that this year.  I need balance in my life - we all do - and the only way that's going to happen is if I make it happen.  It's my choice.  And since it's a new year (for teachers and students, anyway), I've decided to create a list of "resolutions" to start things off right.  These are things I want to do regularly, no matter how school's going.  I figured I'd throw it out there for all to see.  That way maybe I'll have a little accountability for it!  Resolutions are notorious for being broken, but not this time.  Huh-uh, not me!  So...here we go:

1) read my Bible every day
2) work out every day
3) visit with a friend once a week
4) get involved in a weekly ministry
5) read at least four books for myself this year
6) write on my blog at least once a week
7) keep the apartment clean
8) spend weekly intentional time with my husband
9) do something new at least once a month
10) do something outside at least once a month

Okay...ten months of school and ten goals.  Not that each one correlates to a month, by any means, but it's kind of a good way to count down, right?  Go for it month by month?  I think so, anyway.  So for all of you reading this, please do check in on me!  Ask me if I'm reading my Bible, come work out with me, or ask to hang out some time!  I would really appreciate it.  Last year was a bit of a disaster.  Though I love teaching in so many ways, if I don't stick to these resolutions I may go crazy.  Help me out with this one, would ya!?