Wow...I'm a mom. How'd that happen?!? Wait, don't explain it to me. Of course I already know. But it's just so weird! I have to say, there's nothing like it. Every day is new and scary, yet absolutely wonderful. I get to watch this little man grow! When I look down at him as he eats (every two and a half to three hours, by the way...my goodness!) all I can think about is what a magnificent creation he is. He is so delicately constructed, each little finger, toe, breath - everything a reflection of our Creator's ability and grandeur! Even if I didn't believe in God, I feel like having a child would have to make a person question his or her unbelief. There's just too much perfection and detail for happenstance, in my opinion.
I often also find my mind wandering to who this little man's going to be. What's he going to look like? My goodness, he'll be taller than I am someday! What will he be interested in? He'll have no choice to like traveling and music - that's just too engrained into who his parents are :). Will he be science-minded? Math-minded? Literature-minded like both of his parents? Hopefully a balance, but I won't mind whatever the outcome. Will he like hiking and camping, or sports, or art, or...there are just so many unknowns! And I guess I'm glad. When I think about how much my parents don't know about me, as I continue to change and grow into a different person over the years, it makes me realize that knowing this tiny boy means constant discovery and adventure. Raising a child means choosing to commit your life to knowing and loving this new being. No day will lack newness, especially if I initiate and encourage that adventure.
I saw a quote on Pinterest the other day that simply said "Be you, bravely." What a beautiful statement. When we are fully ourselves, we foster confidence, strength, and intention. Personally, I believe life takes these qualities only second to love! I'm thinking of framing that quote and putting it in Isaac's room. He may not understand the meaning or significance behind it for years, or maybe he'll never have a problem being fully himself (wait..I teach high school...I've never seen a kid not struggle with this at some point!), but my hope is that it will be a constant reminder of how to live life with intention.
As I read over this post, I realize it's not really about motherhood. I mean, it is...it's about my stream of consciousness and what I want for my son (and for me, I guess). It's about awe and wonder. It's about the present and the future, and in some sense the past. There's just so much to this! Every day is new and scary, yet absolutely wonderful. And I hope it continues to be.
